Things are not always what they appear to be

“Appearances are a glimpse of the unseen”. This quote from the Greek philosopher Anaxagoras is so true. Very often we only see for example a part of what a person really is. We think we know it all just by taking a briefly look. But, hey, what if the taxi driver had something to teach us? What if the woman with Dolly Parton breasts who’s dress barely cover any skin had in fact so much more to offer (but she perhaps doesn’t know it yet)? What if the man with mental health problem was not a “nut case” after all? What if the child with ADHD and hypersensitive issues was in fact very smart, social and affectionate? We’ll never know if we make snap judgements based on perception and appearance or use labels to categorize people. Nobody should be defined by their look, job, illness… It is often not the most interesting thing about who they are.

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A stalagmite in the cave of Limousis, France. * Tip to help you remember the difference between  a stalagmite and a stalactite: stalagmite is spelled with a “g” as in ground. Stalactite which hold tight to the ceiling is spelled with a “c“.

Now, take a good look at this picture on your left. A real nice… Oh -you naughty thing! I know what you are thinking. Well, would you believe me if I told you this is a stalagmite?* I know. Unbelievable, right? I took this pic a few years ago while I was exploring the cave of Limousis, in France. Who could imagine that Mother Nature can be so playful?

Perceptions are frequently distorted by illusions. For example, the eye only perceives the half circle of the rainbow. In reality, we only see a part of the optical phenomenon, the ground dividing by half the colored circle. If the observer is above the ground, as is the case when on an airplane, he can see the circle in its entirety. But do not dream in color: this is rare.

All that to convince you that things are not always what they appear to be. I know you knew that already. But sometimes it’s good when someone reminds us as we all tend to forget.

Let me share with you an anecdote I have already told my friend Da-Al, from Happiness Between Tails, in a recent comment I made on her post title Let’s All Drop Labels. A few years ago, I missed the opportunity to get to know a real interesting person just because she physically looked as someone who was really mean to me in my childhood. So I simply did not give her the chance to prove me wrong. My loss. This event had thankfully no effect on my life nor on hers. I hope. But when we judge or put a label on a child it can be damaging. Same goes with labelling a person as “The mentally ill”. Studies have shown that it can increase stigma. Most people affected by mental health suffer in silence for fear of being judged or rejected because of the stigma that surrounds mental health problems. Given what is now known, we should definitely try not to label people and be careful with the words we use to describe them. Label do not define the person and words do matter. Both influence people’s attitude.

What is the link with fashion you may wonder? Not much really. Apart from the fact that very often fashion bloggers are perceived as just “Pretty little things”, superficials and “not very smart people”. I like to think that I don’t fit in any of these categories. And I can only hope you would be curious enough to want to get to know me better.

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Photography of 3C Style – by Annie Gaudreau

Texte en Français

“Les apparences sont un aperçu de l’invisible”. Cette citation du philosophe grec Anaxagoras est si vraie. Très souvent, nous ne voyons par exemple qu’une partie de ce qu’est vraiment une personne. Nous pensons que nous savons tout sur celle-ci simplement en la regardant brièvement. Mais si le chauffeur de taxi avait quelque chose à nous apprendre? Si la femme avec une poitrine volumineuse à la Dolly Parton dont la robe ne couvre à peu près rien avait en fait tellement plus à offrir (mais elle ne le sait peut-être pas encore)? Et si l’homme avec un problème de santé mentale n’était pas le “fou” que vous pensiez? Et si l’enfant souffrant de TDAH et de problèmes d’hypersensibilité était en fait très intelligent, sociable et affectueux? Nous ne le saurons jamais si nous faisons des jugements instantanés basés sur la perception et l’apparence ou si nous utilisons des étiquettes pour catégoriser les gens. Personne ne devrait uniquement être défini par son look, son travail, sa maladie… Ce n’est souvent pas la chose la plus intéressante à propos de l’individu.

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Une stalagmite dans la Grotte de Limousis, France. Truc pour vous aider à différencier une stalagmite d’une stalactite. MITE = MONTE et TITE = TOMBE.

Maintenant, regardez bien cette image à votre gauche. On dirait… Oh, esprit tordu! Je sais ce à quoi vous pensez. Eh bien, me croiriez-vous si je vous disais que c’est une stalagmite? * Je sais. Incroyable n’est-ce pas? J’ai pris cette photo il y a quelques années alors que j’explorais la grotte de Limousis, en France. Qui pourrait imaginer que Mère Nature puisse être si espiègle?

Les perceptions sont fréquemment faussées par des illusions. Par exemple, l’oeil ne perçoit que le demi cercle de l’arc-en-ciel. En réalité, nous n’apercevons qu’une partie du phénomène optique, le sol divisant de moitié le cercle coloré. Si l’observateur se trouve au-dessus du sol, comme c’est le cas lorsqu’on se trouve dans un avion, il peut apercevoir le cercle dans son intégralité. Mais il ne faut pas rêver en couleurs: cela est rare.

Tout ça pour vous convaincre que les choses ne sont pas toujours ce qu’elles semblent être. Je sais que vous le saviez déjà. Mais parfois c’est bon que quelqu’un nous le rappelle car nous avons tous tendance à oublier.

Laissez-moi partager avec vous une anecdote que j’ai déjà racontée à mon amie Da-Al, de Happiness Between Tails, par le biais d’un commentaire fait récemment à propos du texte Let’s All Drop Labels. Il y a quelques années, j’ai raté l’occasion de faire la connaissance d’une femme vraiment intéressante simplement parce qu’elle avait physiquement l’air d’une fille qui avait été vraiment désagréable envers moi dans mon enfance. Je ne lui ai simplement pas donné la chance de me prouver le contraire. Ma perte. Cet évènement n’a eu heureusement aucun effet sur ma vie ni la sienne. Je l’espère. Mais quand nous jugeons ou mettons une étiquette sur un enfant cela peut être dommageable. Il en va de même lorsqu’on qualifie une personne de «malade mentale». Des études ont démontré que cela peut augmenter la stigmatisation. La plupart des personnes touchées par la santé mentale souffrent en silence de peur d’être jugées ou rejetées en raison de la stigmatisation qui entoure les problèmes de santé mentale. Compte tenu de ce qui est maintenant connu, nous devrions certainement essayer de ne pas étiqueter les gens et faire attention aux mots que nous utilisons pour les décrire. L’étiquette ne définit pas la personne et les mots comptent. Les deux influencent l’attitude des gens.

Quel est le lien avec la mode, vous devez vous demander? Pas grand chose. Outre le fait que très souvent les blogueuses de mode sont perçues comme des «Barbies», des personnes superficielles et des filles «pas très intelligentes». J’ose penser que je ne rentre dans aucune de ces catégories. Et je ne peux qu’espérer que vous serez assez curieux et curieuses d’avoir envie de mieux me connaître.

Have a lovely weekend everyone! Thanks so much for visiting my blog. Stay strong, stay stylish! – Bonne fin de semaine tout le monde! Merci de visiter mon blogue. Soyez forte, soyez stylée!

Let’s stay connected: Bloglovin – Instagram @3cstyle_fashion

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69 Comments

    1. Yes, In a way… Really like these lyrics: There is more than meets the eye,
      I see the soul that is inside. Thanks for introducing me to that song Emmanuel.

      Like

  1. Your words are full of inspiration and they made me laugh out loud as well as reflect💞 thank you for sharing. I agree with you, we are so much more than we may seem to be. And that stalagmite cracked me up hahahahaha😂💛💛💛🌸🌸🌸

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Thanks Martina. I wasn’t sure if I should or not publish the pic of the stalagmite… Mix message, you know: Take me seriously but hey BTW here’s a photo of something that looks like a penis??? Probably overanalysing here. Thanks for sending me positive feedback. 💞

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I couldn’t agree more with your words…..even for personal experience.❤️😊I also believe that we should always allow a laugh even in the most serious matter….definitely you did the right choice to publish that p…ic😂

    Liked by 5 people

  3. You’re so right about appearances – they can be very deceiving. Especially beautiful women have often to struggle because most people still think that their good looks keep them from being intelligent at the same time. You probably have to deal with this a lot, ma belle amie 😉
    And that stalagmite cracked me up too! Btw – thanks for the tip how to differentiate them! 😄😚

    Liked by 6 people

    1. That is a thing too Miss Gentileschi,I wouldn’t refer to my self as beautiful but sure I like to be well groomed and dressed and I love accessories.too often I ve bee wrongly label d as just a yummy mummy by busy supposedly career women and perfect mother too superior to waste time putting make up on and then you discover the last book they read was in school and barely can talk about anything but nappies,not to mention culture or politics.excuse the moaning words.🙄happy Saturday everybody.hope you get what I meant without wanting to offend anyone.

      Liked by 4 people

  4. Well it’s just in our nature to judge by first appearance. It happened to me more than once even though I try not to do that. I really think it cannot be helped, but we must work on it and not pinpoint people to a certain category just by judging the appearance.

    Liked by 5 people

  5. It’s good to be reminded that not everything is always as it seems. I know I try to keep an open mind, but sometimes I also get caught up in quick judgement.

    The french equivalent for stalagmite & stalactite is Mite= Monte. Tite = Tombe. 😉

    Bonne journée !!

    Liked by 5 people

  6. J’aime définitivement beaucoup ton post et cette très belle photo de toi.Je lis en ce moment un tas de trucs sur notre propension innée aux jugements hâtifs. Nous sommes presque tous bâtis comme çà.Ça vaut la peine d’y travailler. Bravo pour l’article et le guts

    PS Dans mon souvenir les… stalagmites était, disons, plus beaux que ça ! Mais il y a si longtemps que je n’en ai vu, j’ai dû oublier :Ha ha ha

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Tu as raison. C’est un comportement un peu de protection. En ce qui concerne la beauté des… stalagmites, je confirme que leur apparence ne s’est pas altérée avec les années! Il te faudrait assurément en voir d’autres prochainement… Hi, hi

      Like

  7. Dominique my friend. I have had the honour and privilege of getting to know you quite well over the last few months and can safely say that you are far from shallow, in fact you are one of the most fascinating people I have known. I admit that if I had met you in any other way I would have felt intimidated by your looks as I am very shy really, but that would have been my loss.

    I shall refrain from commenting on the stalagmite picture. The rest of you have already sufficiently lowered the tone…

    Liked by 4 people

  8. I couldn’t agree with you more. We should never stick anyone in a category when most people would fit into several. There are so many layers to people and their talents. Gorgeous photo of you! And the stalagmite was great, too! Made me lol, literally.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thank you so much, Lisa! I couldn’t agree more about the many layers of people. That’s in part what makes us human such an interesting species. We are complex. We can’t be explained by taking into account single categories. Wish you a very lovely and creative Sunday!

      Like

  9. Looks can be deceiving. How will we ever know how amazing the other person is if we judge them by their appearance? They have so much to teach us if only we give them a chance. Thanks for sharing this great post! Enjoyed that pic too! Hehehe :))

    Liked by 3 people

    1. You are right. We all need to have an open mind. If we were all the same life sure would be boring. Thanks for your comment. Is your name Twali? It seems it is by your blog’s name. Just double checking. I have looked at your blog and posts (very nice BTW) but your About page is blank… Look forward to read more of you.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. You’re welcome. My name is Twalha actually, Twali is my nick name. Thanks for saying my blog is nice, much appreciated :)) And omg I’ve been meaning to fill that blank space lol! Thanks for the reminder!

      Liked by 1 person

    3. Hello Twalha. Very happy to met you. Yes, I do find your blog very interesting. Not just nice. Super nice! 😀 I particularly appreciate the quality of your writing, your sense of humour and your wisdom. I was move by the post about your stalker. I couldn’t comment (sorry) as this subject makes me feel too inconfortable. keep up the good work. -Dominique

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I see a lot of bloggers who live it seems beyond their means or beyond my wildest dreams and it makes me wonder what do they do to sustain that lifestyle? I’m a fairly boring person who isn’t living life in the fast lane and that night be a good thing.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thanks for sharing Tony. I do get what you mean. I would never dream living my life in the fast lane either. And BTW you are far from being a boring person. For example, very often your posts make me smile. 😀 Have a lovely day.

      Like

  11. Your post complements Da-Al’s so well! You both capture the sentiment perfectly. By the way, I thought the stalagmite was a marine invertebrate found on the deep ocean floor, at first glance-it took me a bit to see what everyone else saw! How lame am I?? 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  12. You’re right about perceptions and distortions based on illusions. When I first saw the picture of the stalagmite I thought it wasn’t naughty. However, it wasn’t very useful anymore and it was right where it belonged, in a cave :).
    Loved this post

    Liked by 3 people

  13. A truly beautiful message to an important subject. Perceptions remain to be the reality of someone, but they are often the furthest from the truth. What needs to be remembered, is that everything and everybody has a story and it is not up to us to pass judgement unless we have walked in those shoes. Even the homeless man standing at the corner has a story and maybe he defended us and his country once upon a time.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Couldn’t agree more with you Magrit. Everyone has a story and if we all took the time to listen without passing judgement we might learn a few things… Even from the homeless, perhaps especially from the homeless.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. So true. Very easy to judge by the looks. Something I know by reading your posts that was wrongly done to you as I child. I was really move by your writing Tim. You would like exploring cave. It is as awesome as diving. I love doing both of these activities with my kids and my husband. Thanks for your visit and lovely comment, Tim. Speak to you soon.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh yes. You definitely have to try it, at least once. It’s hard to describe such a perfect moment. You are surrounded by the deep silence of the ocean but it’s full of life! Fantastic feeling.

      Liked by 1 person

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