How Blogging Saved my Marriage

Life & Style Profile, 62 Comments

Published by 3C Style

Scientific journalist, author and fashion blogger from Montreal - Journaliste scientifique, auteure et blogueuse mode de Montréal

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This post was originally published as a contributor on Learn Fun Facts. My first ever guest post!
I thought how I got into Blogging might make some of you laugh.
Two years ago, I was concerned that my husband’s online gaming might mess up our marriage. We all know how excessive virtual worlds can have real-world influences on health, spouse happiness and sex life? But can lingerie help save marriages when men’s gaming habits have interfered with the couple’s bedtime? As a scientific journalist with a strong interest for fashion, I asked myself this question and made it the subject of a study (Yep, I did carry out the experiments described below… Oh yes, with a truly scientific approach). 🙂

Resume

The study confirms that multiplayer video games can have negative consequences on marital satisfaction. The results shed light on the effects of a woman wearing lingerie on a role-playing gamer spouse, studied this way for the first time (to my knowledge). The results also suggest that women can easily be overshadowed by the game The Elder Scrolls Online and hockey, even the most boring hockey match.

Methodology

For the study, I have conducted three experiments in an attempt to seduce my husband (read: the laboratory rat) in order to get him away from his computer screen and into our bed. These experiments were carried out between October 2015 to April 2016. Two of them were engaged while my hubby was role-playing the game The Elder Scrolls Online. One was undertaken while he was watching on T.V. a hockey game involving Les Canadiens, his number one team. (Previous research has found that men may prefer gaming and watching hockey over having sex with their spouse)¹. Experiments were done using two different types of lingerie from two brands: a Blue Lace Babydoll from Roselle (see picture of 3C Style below) and a Delicate Nude Lace Bra with matching Panties from Anine Bing. One experiment which served as a control was undertook using a white Body Towel Wrap from HSN.
Note: One more experiment was conducted in december 2017 to confirm or infirm the data of the original study and see if the marital satisfaction had changed over time. It involved the researcher (me) sending a photo of herself wearing the Nova Bra and Panties by the British brand Bluebella (THE provocative and naughty lingerie items you see everywhere on Instagram). This seductive set was bought at Alice Kass’s Pop Up shop in Montreal (Rockland Shopping Center – open until the 18th January). The pic was sent to the subject (husband/laboratory rat) while he was in India for a conference.

Data (the great seduction)

Experiments
Conduct 1. Showing up in hubby’s office with a white Body Towel Wrap (as I was just getting out of the shower). Subject was gaming and very much concentrated in killing some zombies and demons.
lingeriewhitetoweldaily-concepts-your-body-towel-wrap-d-20151113181645977_452549
Body Towel Wrap – HSN
Reactions from subject (verbal and non-verbal behavior):
  • Shows a surprise face (eyebrows are raised)
  • Smiles (about 10 secondes)
  • Turns his eyes back on the screen while emitting the sound “Grrrr…”
  • Speaks to spouse (without looking at her): “Sorry darling! It’s crucial right now. My team players need me!”  
  • Subject kept playing and came to bed… Three hours later!  Note: Spouse did pretend to sleep.
Conduct 2. As above but wearing the Blue Lace Babydoll from Roselle.
_MG_8315
Photography of 3C Style by Marie-Claude Viola – Make-up by Geneviève Lacelle MUA
 Reactions from subject (verbal and non-verbal behavior):
  • Shows a big smile (about 20 seconds) but…
  • Seems quizzical and in doubt (only one eyebrow raised);
  • Looks intensely at spouse (probably trying to figure out if I will be mad or not if he did not follow me to the bedroom);
  • chuckles (slightly nervous, 5 seconds)
  • Turns his eyes back on the computer screen;
  • Speaks to spouse (who’s walking away): “It won’t be long, honey!” 
  • Subject kept playing and came to bed one hour and half later. (sign of progress)
Conduct 3. Showing up in the living room wearing comfortable and sexy underwear (Delicate Nude Lace Bra and Panties) from Anine Bing while subject is watching a hockey game. Note: The Canadiens team were losing with no chance to win at all.
Reactions from subject (verbal and non-verbal behavior):
AnineBingN_AB50-016_01
Delicate Nude Lace Bra – Anine Bing
  • Shows a big smile (about 20 seconds);
  • Giggle (loudly, 20 seconds);
  • Thighs slapped; Looks at spouse for a minute with a smirk and puppy eyes;
  • Turn his head back toward the T.V. screen; Speaks to spouse (who’s roling her eyes): “It’s almost over!” 
  • Subject kept watching the match and came to bed about 40 minutes later.

 

Conduct 4. Sent a pic of myself wearing Bluebella provocative lingerie to my hubby while he was away for work in a foreign country.
nova-bra-bluebella-canada-alicekass-lingerie_grande
Bluebella provocative lingerie – Alicia Kass Shop
Reactions from subject (according to him):
  • Very happy;
  • Timing was good apparently;
  • The photo helped subject release some stress. (Glad to do that for you darling! Thanks to the technology.)

Results and Analysis

Overall the researcher found that beautiful lingerie can help marital satisfaction and love life. But online gaming and hockey (and presumably other televised sports) are major factors to consider, both may lead to dissatisfaction when one partner spends too much time at it. Killing zombies and demons can definitely have some effects on your relationship with your partner. Further research is needed to confirm this hypothesis.

Conclusion

The data from these experiments seem to confirm the results of a study published in the Journal of Leisure Research which shows that “couples who did not go to bed at the same time reported less marital satisfaction”.² Researcher will gladly buy more beautiful lingerie, especially from Alicia Kass Shop as the items bought there had the biggest impact on the subject. Need to remind you though that in the fourth experiment the subject was not participating in online game nor watching a hockey game. Also, the researcher was not able to see the subject’s level of arousal. However, the spouse’s satisfaction level in the last experiment had increased considerably since the time of the first experiment. While the researcher could not deduce from this study the specific reason for it, she speculated that blogging may be related to it. Indeed, since she started engaging with the wonderful WordPress community (July 2016) she goes to sleep quite late at night and in result does not have to wait no more for her hubby to come to bed. This situation tends to have decreased the level of frustration. But it may have inverted the problem…
Note: Researcher thinks she has just scratched the surface of this new type of research. She hopes in a near future to be able to produce more solid results. In the meantime, she’ll keep blogging! (Hubby tells me he would gladly participate in additional experiments.)

Acknowledgements

I would like to thank Darren Sleep who’s Bus Papers… part one and two inspired me for this post and for reviewing it. (He tells me he had to have a cold shower and a lie down afterwards.) Thanks to my husband for his great sense of humour and -despite the truth of the facts presented here- for authorizing me to publish my results. Finally, a big thank you to Anine Bing, Bluebella and Alicia Kass for making available such beautiful lingerie.
Sources
1. California University Study (2010, cited by Dutka, PS3 News, “Study: Chemically, Men Prefer Gaming Over Sex”).
2. Brigham Young University Study (2012, cited by Sifferlin, Time Healthland, “Is Online Gaming Messing Up Your Marriage?”).
Thanks for your visit. Stay strong, stay stylish! – Merci de visiter mon blogue. Soyez forte, soyez stylée!
Let’s stay connected: Bloglovin – Instagram @3cstyle_fashion

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    6. Poor little bird! It only seems to you like a crazy behavior because you are not use to smile… Keep practicing! It is funny that you use this particular idiom because the loon is Canada’s unofficial national bird and the Canadian one dollar coin is called a looney.

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    8. Exactly… You need to practice! Just like the gym which I know you do minimum tree times a week. Soon you will be able to smile everyday. P.S. Does not have to be a big smile with teeth showing all the time. Try the combinaison of Little smirk + Little squint of the eyes = wellbeing and good vibes sent to others. 😉

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  5. Lved this post. You are hilarious and the results are amazing. Thank you somuch for the study and educating us all. I will definitely consider results in the future if I ever get married again (I thought I would never do it again) however I am already changing my mind (haha) in looking for the soul mate. I still believe in fairy-tale. Have a wonderful day my friend. xoxo Cris
    http://photosbycris.blogspot.com.au/2018/01/valentines-day-photo-backdrops.html

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    1. Being a fairy yourself it is quite normal that you believe in fairy-tale! You should definitely look for your soul mate and certainly deserve to find it. Thanks for your lovely comment my friend. Big hugs. xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

  10. What a fun post to read. I so love the efforts you went to and the research undertaken. Sounds as though killing those zombies and demons might eventually wear thin for your man, especially if you wear them down with those seductive titbits. Loved this so much. 💖 Thanks for the laughs. By the way I don’t think there are too many bloggers that go to bed the same time as their partners! 😏

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    1. A friend of mine told me just to walk naked and seal the deal! Might try this approach in Experiment – Part 2. I won’t show any photo though! 😉 Thanks for your lovely comment my friend.

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    1. Thanks! I did had fun writing it… I was not sure though that my husband would found it funny. Thankfully, he’s got a good sense of humour. 😉 Thank you so much for your positive feedback.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s exactly what my hubby said!!! He is a researcher BTW. And he gladly would participate in additional experiments! Nice to know he got the message. 😉 Thanks for your visit Sarah. Have a lovely weekend.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks DEE DEE. Coming from a researcher and science instructor such as yourself it is a lovely compliment. I had fun doing this “study”. It is good to be able to laugh at ourself sometimes!

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  18. An interesting post indeed Dominique,

    As an ardent gamer quite intriguing although Elder Scrolls as the example here is not my thing, sadly l am more old school, and prefer WoW. Elder Scroller’s do inform me that their game has more allure, l am not too sure about that having been a WoWer for fourteen odd years.

    But if we are talking provocative lingerie that is a different matter. I worked with lingerie for many years myself when working ladies fashion and know both its appeal and its seductive ability on certain men and women, but not all. In truth l have always preferred the naked form, and skin on skin in comparison to silks and chiffons.

    I have never needed any kind of boost in any kind of sexual seduction, lingerie or not, at the ‘end of the day when at play it comes off anyway’ is my credo. My partner Suze has no real interest in lingerie as an example in comparison to perhaps other women l had known prior to our relationship and l remember clearly one girlfriend of old saying that lingerie was wasted on me which was true.

    Suze is more practical, and prefers more of the tomboyish night time attire, although the search for a quality bra that doesn’t cause too much discomfort and looks appealing and attractive is still a search she and l are conducting on a regular basis. Why are there so many boobs on boobs to play the line of errors in the bra industry.

    However, Suze doesn’t need to wear sexy anything for me to be interested, l am hotly in love with my partner and have been since the time we first met and equally am not ashamed to say after five years that l still find her highly desireable . Our bodies have changed, as indeed all bodies tend to change when they hit the fifties. Sadly however tis not lack of desire or routine that has struck our night time activities dead, but menopause has taken away her libido and that whilst l constantly tell her how much l love her and offer her intimacy in the capacity that l am able, her desire for that department is currently not present or even active. However, we are still young and l will be awaiting with baited enthusiasm when she herself reawakens. if at that point she wishes to don her body with lingerie, then l am not going to say no ‘it doesn’t appeal, nor am l going to say “Hang on darling must kill this troll!” it will be more along the lines of sod this troll, it’s just a pixilated game after all.

    Good post 🙂

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    1. Wow! There are several interesting points in your comment and each could be postmarked. There are a multitude of reasons why couples live happily and sustainably and in my opinion this has nothing to do with the length of their relationship or the fact that one of the partners is gamer or not. Namely – are the emotional needs of both partners met? When they are, it is also easier to go through the difficulties that can be associated with the sexual needs caused by menopause. Fortunately, you have it seems well understood! After 18 years of marriage, I also believe that to maintain a healthy relationship it is important to know your partner well to build a solid intimacy. However, we often forget that life is made of changes and that the spouse evolves during the years. It is therefore necessary to update the information about it. The quality of the relationship depends on it. How to love and appreciate someone you do not really know anymore? Often at this stage couples simply become friends who share the house. That’s where the real problem lies in my opinion. And in front of it the fact of wearing or not attractive lingerie will change unfortunately nothing at all! Thank you so much for your meaningful comment and for sharing your thoughts and experience. Speak to you on my return from my family vacation. 😉

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    2. Well wow indeed, there is more to what you write, but now is not the time for an indepth conversation on the eve of your holiday – so have a grand ol’ time Dominque 🙂

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  21. Hello! I loved what you wrote. I went through a marriage crisis where everything seemed to collapse and I was very scared for my children, they were hard years, but what you have written is right! I also help this https://hotm.art/ifEMBm I hope it helps you too, to the next friends!

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